When Giving Thanks Hurts

Beautiful table with thanksgiving food

Normally a time of feasting and festivity, your Thanksgiving this year may be filled with thoughts of:

  • I have nothing to be thankful for
  • Celebrating is futile
  • I need to go through the motions for the sake of the kids, my parents or those annoying relatives who come once a year
  • Just forgetting the whole thing, crawl back into bed and pull the blankets over my head and forget about the whole thing.

All of these ideas and feelings are completely understandable when you’ve lost a loved one…and how could anyone blame you for feeling that way? However, attempting to “hide” from the day does not make it go away. In fact, attempting to hide or block it out can actually make things worse.

So What to Do?

Here are three simple tips to not only help you get through this day of giving thanks, but maybe even afford you the chance to enjoy it a little:

  1. Whether you are celebrating Thanksgiving in your own home or going elsewhere, and expected to bring a dish, prepare something that was your loved one’s favorite. You may be surprised at how much comfort something as simple as a favorite dish or desert will bring you.
  2. Just about every family will go around the table and share that which they are thankful for. Maybe try sharing a funny story about your loved one. Finish with lifting a glass and proposing a toast with his or her favorite drink.
  3. If celebrating is just too painful; change things up a bit and quietly observe the day by simply attending a church service and making yourself a lovely dinner at home or perhaps volunteering at a local shelter or soup kitchen.

Although you may feel like you have nothing to be thankful for, you do! Stop and take a moment to think about that which you cherish – your family, your home or whatever else you treasure in and about your life. Most of all, embrace and remember that you had the love of a wonderful person, whose legacies of love and memories will always be with you.

All of us at the Brunswick Memorial Home wish you a Thanksgiving filled with warmth, comfort and peace.