If you are getting ready to choose pallbearers or you have been asked to be one, it can be important to know what to expect from the process. There are rules of etiquette, as in the rest of the funeral service, and it is important that you keep them in mind both when selecting the people you want to serve as pallbearers or if you will be one yourself. Here are the etiquette tips that we at Brunswick Memorial Home, an East Brunswick, NJ funeral home and cremation provider suggest.
It’s important to dress in a manner consistent with whom the services are for, typically in a conservative manner. Since the rest of the attendees will be able to see the pallbearers as they bring the casket in and take it out of the location, dressing appropriately is vital. You want to make certain that the outfit you choose is one that would be right for a religious service and that there is nothing too revealing or that calls too much attention. Typically, men wear suits and women wear dresses or skirts, however if the service is for a younger person, appropriate nice casual wear might be in order, but be sure to check with the family before making that decision to “dress down”.
Before the service starts, our staff will give the pallbearers instructions on what they need to do. It is vital that the pallbearers listen to the instructions attentively so that everything runs smoothly and there are no mistakes or issues in the process. Keep in mind that even if you’ve been a pallbearer before, every funeral home does things differently. If you have any questions about the process, be sure to ask before the service starts to avoid confusion.
Most pallbearers need to arrive at the location early to get the instructions they need. If you are choosing people for this task, it can be a good idea to select people who tend to be on time and early to things. If you have been tasked with being a pallbearer and you tend to be late, you will want to make an extra effort to get there when they ask you to. It can complicate matters if an important part of the ceremony is not present to receive instructions or even to begin the service.
A pallbearer has to be someone who will not buckle under the weight of grief or stress. For those making the choice of pallbearers, consider people who will not get so emotional that they cannot perform the task. If you have been given the honor of doing this but you feel that you cannot actually do it because you will be too emotional, be sure to let the family know with enough time to choose someone else.
All of these etiquette tips can help people who are choosing pallbearers as well as those who have been asked to be pallbearers. It is an honor to do this task, and you should be ready to offer your support to the family. If you need to learn more about choosing pallbearers or being one, please reach out to us – Brunswick Memoriall Home, a cremations or funeral home in East Brunswick, NJ. Our dedicated staff will guide you through every step of the funeral services you need. Learn more by visiting us at 454 Cranbury Rd, East Brunswick, NJ 08816 or giving us a call at (732) 254-9393 at any time.